Treading water is the same as drowning.

Inspiration has been a struggle. In many ways.

 

I’m really good at beginning things and not always good at finishing them. I find it very easy to get inspired, but very difficult to sustain that inspiration.

After discussing this conundrum with Kris last night, it’s fresh on my mind and I spent a better part of the night last night thinking about it (when I should’ve been sleeping). 

When you are relying on inspiration, you can’t always wait for the perfect circumstance or timing. Sometimes you have to make it happen. 

Some of the most creative and most successful individuals in history have been rigidly disciplined and functioned as well-oiled machine, albeit nearly insane, scatter-brained machines. It’s been proven time and time again that having a schedule for yourself and sticking to it makes you more productive, but it also just makes you a less stressed mess, even if by just a smidge. You can rely on a schedule. It remains constant…if you stick to it. Among all the random occurrences in life, if you decide 4:00 is tea time, tea shall happen at 4:00.

It’s within parameters like this that I find my inspiration has room to breathe and finally pokes its head out. But it’s easier said than done. My most cherished part of the day is waking up because I know precisely what will happen next: shower, coffee, breakfast, today show. I mean, I’m a fan of spontaneity, but knowing I will have this hour or two to wake up and come to terms with my day is the most stabilizing feeling and prepares me for all the spontaneous events that will pop up from then on.

All that being said, I am still the same person with half her closet scattered around her room, a half empty sketch book, a guitar that hasn’t been played in weeks, and a half-finished painting with easel and brushes still out beside it. And those are just my hobbies.

Kris’s dilemma is somewhat different. As he is attempting to make more of a living off his music than I am from my art, it’s a much bigger deal that he reaches certain milestones. However, with a demanding work schedule that leaves him little free time (if only for right now) and three roommates and a girlfriend who constantly pull at him as well, he gets little to no time to himself and his creative endeavors. Being one of those pulling forces I’m a bit biased, but because I love him I’m also inclined to encourage the kid to go ahead a kick me out and use those couple hours alone to make something beautiful happen. 

Personally, my problem stems from a love of 10 hours of sleep that I don’t need every night. I would sleep all day if it were acceptable. Wake up, have breakfast and coffee, go back to bed, wake up for a a few hours in the evening, and sleep again. But alas, I’d never get anything accomplished and that’s the worst thing I can imagine. So for me, I know the solution is dragging myself up by 9:00 at the latest, earlier if at all possible, and starting my day even if I don’t have anywhere to be until 5:00 pm. I mean geez I woke up at 7:30 today completely expecting to be miserable all day and here I am blogging at 11:00, brunch already consumed.

I guess my point in all this is: Do the hard thing. It’s hard but it will facilitate much better results. The problem isn’t finding the inspiration, it’s allowing yourself to look for it at all.

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